Jokes

Humor

Date: Thu, 15 May 1997 16:22:42 -0400

* The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

* Money can't buy happiness... but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

* Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.

* Psychiatrists say that one out of four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're ok...

* Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad cheque.

* A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

* It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in laboratory rats.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

* The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

* Paranoids are people too. They have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

* Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

* Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

* Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will NOT be evenly distributed.