Sounds Dirty, But Isn't

Sounds Dirty, But Isn't

Date: Fri, 3 Apr 1998 13:54:02 -0500

--- Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't:

10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. Mind if I use your laptop? 8. Just stick it in my box 7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag! 6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!! 5. HMMMMMMMM....I think it's out of fluid! 4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish. 3. It's an entry-level position. 2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in the office but isn't: 1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there!

--- Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't:

10. Have you looked through her briefs? 9. He is one hard judge! 8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers. 7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute. 6. Is it a penal offense? 5. Better leave the handcuffs on. 4. For $200 an hour, she better be good! 3. Can you get him to drop his suit? 2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't: 1. Think you can get me off?

--- Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Golf But Aren't:

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker 7. Look at the size of his putter 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more 5. Mind if I join your threesome? 4. Stand with your back turned and drop it 3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip 2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't: 1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first