Summer humor

Summer humor

Date: Thu, 07 Aug 97 10:27:05 EDT

AND YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD COMPUTER PROBLEMS... Check out these exerpts from a Wall street Journal article by Jim Carlton.

1) Compaq is considering changing the command "Press any key"to "Press Return key" because of the floods of calls asking where the any key is.

2) AST Technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3) Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the costumer labeled the disks then rolled them into a typewriter to type the labels.

4) Another AST customer was asked to send in a copy o her defective diskettes . A few days later a letter arrived with xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5) A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door of his room.

6) Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything . After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the Send key.

7) Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he to go to the local Egghead. " Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the customer replied. When told that Egghead was a software store, the man said, " Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."

8) Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

9) A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was " bad and an invalid ". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

10) An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on. After ensuring that the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened whhen she pushed the power button. Her response, " I pushed and pushed on the foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

11) Another customer called Compaq tech support to say that her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked. "What power switch?"